Expiration Date

I got a case of wine delivered last night.  The wine was splayed out on the table where I was organizing it.

MAX: Daddy, why in the world do you have such OLD wine?  2005?  2008?  That's sooooo old.  That stuff must be terrible.  Wait, let me find the expiration date!

A word trap

Max: What's a booby trap?  Is it something for trapping boobies?

A simple human?

We just got a soap dispenser made by the SimpleHuman company.
Me to Jenn: Did you get soap for the SimpleHuman?
Max: Who's the simple human?  Daddy?

Charlie, apropos nothing

Over breakfast on a Sunday morning in the fall.
Charlie: Who will teach me how to be a grown-up?

Apparently Quite Advanced For His Age

Jenn: Charlie, you're going back to school soon.  What are you most looking forward to?
Charlie (age 3.5): Drinking beer

My city boy

Charlie (walking down our block with me pointing up at the top of a building): Does that ever go anywhere?
Me: Does what ever go anywhere?
Charlie: That rocket ship.
Me (takes me a few seconds to figure out what he's talking about): Sadly - no, Charlie. That's a water-tank.

Max re: school

Max: "school's really good because you learn a lot of cool things"

King Charlie

Charlie to Jenn - when he should be asleep.

Charlie: mommy, guess what?
Jenn: what?
Charlie: I can't wait to be king!