Max to me

It's the busiest week of the year for me and I was explaining to Max that while I wasn't traveling, he probably wouldn't see me for a few days.

Max (throwing hands up in some semblance of exasperation): But, Daddy, why doesn't your boss understand you want to see your CHILDREN?

Max to Me

Mommy doesn't know everything. She's not Mr. Google.

Max and Jenn

Jenn: we are the grown-ups, so you have to listen to us.
Max: but when I'm 15 I'll be a grown-up.
Jenn: we'll always be the grown-ups.
Max: but you'll be shrunken.
Jenn: what?
Max: when you get old, you'll be shrunken.