Flash Dancers has moved, Daddy!

Charlie and I walking down the street towards home, after his bedtime.
Charlie, age 10 (excitedly): Daddy, Flash Dancers has moved!!!
Me (in my head): Does he know what Flash Dancers is? [Ed note: it’s a strip club] If he DOES know, how does he know?  But how in the world COULD he know?
Me (finally able to speak): Whaaaaaaatttttt???
Charlie: Oh, nothing.  It’s just there on the sign on top of the taxi.
Me: <huge sigh of relief. didn’t use the opportunity to discuss strip clubs further>

If I win the lottery...

Amid a $1.5 billion jackpot and, thus, much Powerball frenzy, we were in a cab and TaxiTV had a piece about what people would spend it on if they won.

Max: "I would only keep some of it.  The rest I would give to lymphoma research."
Me: "Oh, Max, that is so sweet of you, so giving, so kind.  What would make you make such a selfless gesture?"
Max: "I just don't want other people to have to be as worried about their loved ones as we were about you when you were going through it."

[NOTE: It was about enough to melt my heart!]

"How do you spell 'naked'?"

Charlie at the computer: "Daddy, how do you spelled 'naked'?"
Me: "Whhhhhhhhatttttttt?????????  Why in the WORLD would you need to spell 'naked'??????"
Charlie: "Because I'm looking for the 'Naked Gun' movies!"
Me: "Ohhhhhh..."

College snuggles

Me: Charlie, do you think you're going to want to snuggle forever?
Charlie: Yes.
Me: Even when you're in college?
Charlie: Yes.

[Then, after a few moments of silence.  I could practically hear his brain whirring]

Charlie: Daddy, where will you be when i'm in college?
Me: Charlie, I'll be right here.
Charlie: But, Daddy, then how will I find you?
Me: Well, by then Charlie, you'll be able to find your way home by yourself.
Charlie: But, Daddy, what happens if i get lost?
Me: Well, you can always call me and I'll come get you.
Charlie: But, Daddy, I don't know our phone number.
Me: Well, Charlie, by then you WILL know our number.
Charlie: But, Daddy, how will you know where I am to come get me?
Me: You'll tell me where you are.  And I'll come get you anywhere.
Charlie: Ok.

Good question

Charlie: "Did Shakespeare write 'Humpty Dumpty'?"

The Medicine That Makes You NOT Have a Baby

The conversation was about cousins...and the fact that Charlie was soon going to have his "baby of the family" crown knocked off by a new cousin.
Me: Well, Charlie, you might not be the baby of the bigger family anymore.  But you will ALWAYS be the baby of our little family, of the four of us.
Jenn: Yeah, you are NOT going to have a little brother or sister, I can promise you that.
Max (after thinking for a moment or two): Mommy, do you take that medicine that makes you NOT have a baby?
Jenn and I (minds reeling from such a thought from our 7-year old): Duhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Jenn (finally coming up with something 1/2 intelligent to say): Max, that's none of your business.
Max: Well, are you??? Huh???

Penises and Chinatowns

Jenn, teaching the kids the proper nomenclature: Boys have a penis.  Girls have what's called a vagina.
Charlie: A Chinatown?